You know how you can tell when someone's on your side or not? It's hard to explain, but there's a huge difference between when someone merely politely listens and when someone is 100% with you.
Those two people could even say the same words, but you can just tell which is being genuine. A person's responses can be cordial, but somehow you know they're judging you or they don't approve of your "lifestyle".
We both know, though, that YOU are not a "lifestyle," and YOU are more complex than something that can be put in a box and labeled. Some well-meaning people will politely listen to you, but it sucks when it just feels off.
I will take steps to gender all individuals correctly.
I will not ask you questions "out of curiosity."
I will not make counseling all about your sexual orientation or gender identity.
I won't ask you your previous name just because.
We will work on only what you want to work on.
I won't act like I'm an expert about your life.
I will educate myself.